Some Irish Humour!

Tonight I did a wee bit o' humor for the fella's at the Seminary. The event is called 'Coffeehouse' and is basically a talent show with free coffee (I am still feeling the effects!). I performed a few Irish jokes for the crowd, which was well received...much to my pleasure, and of course, once you stroke a performer's ego...the show only gets better. So in the spirit o' the ev'nin' I thought I would share with you a wee bit of humor (these are not the ones that I told tonight...since those are better performed than written). Enjoy!

Old widow McGee walked into the bank to exchange $100.00.

She says to the clerk, "Could you break this down into smaller bills for me?"

The clerk says; "In what demonination would you like your bills?"

To which widow McGee responds; "God bless us, has it come to that? I'll have nothin' but Catholics if you don't mind!"

This is one from Joe...
Mike Mulligan woke up one morning with an huge hangover. Forcing himself to open his eyes, he sees a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the bedside table. He sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and ironed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless. He takes the aspirins and sees a note on the table which says
"Breakfast is on the stove, dear. I left early to go shopping. Love you!" He goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there's a hot breakfast waiting for him, and also the morning newspaper. His son is sitting at the table, eating.
Really curious by now, Mike asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, Mam said you came home after 3 a.m, you stumbled in the door, threw up in the hallway, and passed out half-way up the stairs."
Confused, Mike asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mam dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you yelled "Leave me alone woman, I'm a married man!""

Says Mrs. O'Keefe; "If you were my husband I would poison your tea!"
Says Mr. O'Keefe; "Madame if I was your husband, I would drink it!"