The Irish are a strange folk...they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of the world that the Irish are such a sickly bunch.
The question was asked of anIrishman: "What is the difference between a joist and a girder?" “Well, sure anyone would know that,” he replies. “Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Foust"
Irish Realities:
Notice on a Cork building site:The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other.
Sign on an Irish gate:The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges.
Sign on a Kinsale shop: Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also.
Road sign to a village in Co. Kerry: "Inch, 1 mile."
The following is a list of actual notes from medical records, as dictated by physicians:
- While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Irish Fathers:
Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock." She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!" He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."
A man said to the wittiest priest of his day, "I wish you were St. Peter." "Why?" asked the priest. "Because," said the man, "you would have the keys of heaven, and could let me in." "It would be better for you," said the priest, "that I had the keys of the other place, for then I could let you out."
Father O'Malley was going through the post one day. Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope, he found written on it just one word: "FOOL." The next Sunday at Mass, he announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names. But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and forgot to write a letter."
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